after 261 consecutive nights in my own bed, by far the longest stretch of my adult life, i have made a journey to portland oregon… to make a new record. in the Before Times this would be a simple statement of unmitigated joy, hopefully met with commensurate enthusiasm and excitement from you all, the readers of this newsletter and my most avid supporters.
however, we are in a global pandemic, and nothing is simple anymore. might it ever be simple again? i doubt it, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
last year i started thinking about a new record. not only was i long overdue from a business angle, but i was also, finally, itching to hear my own voice again. after 7+ years working primarily on theater projects, i was ready.
my original intention was to make a record of co-writes with some of my favorite writers, each song inspired by the same initial prompt. i did around 8 or 9 of these sessions and the seed of an album was growing. and then of course, we know what happened… 2020! not that i couldnt have continued on this path in the pando - we’re all so much better at collaborating via the internets now than we ever were before. a pando blessing! but something about the quieting of life and the reduction in my travels made an album of fancy co-writes seem… wrong.
instead, i spent all of 2020 writing away at a set of simple pop songs about intimacy and when intimacy ends. some of you have heard these songs as they were born via my afternoon guerilla internet werq sessions. a pando blessing! i cant tell you how fun it was to write and write and write and not have to go anywhere. i made fun demos, i rewrote verses, i remade the demos. i delighted in little background vocal details and intricate drum parts.
at the end of september (who knows why then) the question arose, what to do with these songs? and the answer came very quickly: call steve berlin. steve is a producer and musician i have long admired, and for many years he’s been on my running list of folks to collaborate with. a short phone call in late october sold me on working together, and election day brought a complete recording plan to my inbox. we would make this record in steve’s hometown of portland oregon, and we would make it starting the day after thanksgiving.
whoa. that was Very Soon.
as covid has loomed ever more deadly, this timeline caused an increasing number of sleepless nights on my part. how could we make this project safe? was it even right to take on something like this now?
you may judge me negatively for this, but i decided it was important to make a responsible attempt to make these 2020 songs in 2020. steve and i kept up with current public health orders in portland and made sure to comply in all ways. i got a grant from my union, AFM Local 1000, and used it to pay for testing for our entire crew. one of our team did indeed test positive about a week before our session, again causing many sleepless nights but also gratitude to have been able to avoid a close call. i flew with a medical grade N95 and was tested when i arrived in portland. i must say, it was very stressful. at the studio everyday, even though everyone had tested negative, we still socially distanced and wore masks at all times, except for me when i was singing in my (covid) closet or alone in the giant tracking room.
and so we arrive at today, tuesday december 8, 3p pacific. i am sitting at the kitchen table in the studio. steve is in the basement editing some details for a vocal. brandon eggleston (the beautiful engineer behind Hundreds of Lions) is in the control room nipping and tucking drum tracks. far away in mexico city, my pal erik deutsch is recording his keyboard parts, even as i write this. later this afternoon, i’ll sing the few remaining background vocal parts and shake a few shake-y things.
there is now a record where there wasn’t one before. it has 13 brand new songs. it has a name. i will tell you much much more about it later in 2021. and of course you will get to hear it and have your own experience with it. until then i will keep it and this singular time for myself.
a final thought - walking to and from the studio each day, through a quiet corner of NW portland, i have seen both the ordinary and extraordinary. couples walking their dogs. people hustling to work. street cleaning crews. and alongside them, many many folks living on the streets and much worse for wear. tent cities on nearly every corner. businesses boarded up from either the pandemic or this summer’s uprisings. i couldnt be further away from my tiny western mass cabin. even amongst the joy of creation, i see people suffering. my country is suffering. we’re all dealing with multiple attacks on our bodies - covid, racism and capitalism, isolation. my heart aches in a way that it just couldnt properly when i was holed up those 261 nights in my cabin.
this is what it is to make art in 2020. it has been both incredibly fast and incredibly deliberate. deeply joyful and terribly bittersweet. we have had to think carefully about every placement in the studio, every mile anyone would travel to be here, the best use of our limited time before we go back to… unlimited time at home. i have taken nothing for granted about this process and the privileges that have brought me here. i doubt i ever will again. the next of many more pandemic blessings, i am sure.
before i wrap up, i want to highlight a few projects i’m involved with that i think might interest you:
- the Women of Rock Oral History Project is releasing an album called “covers for the apocalypse: volume 1”. i contributed a rendition of liz phair’s “shane” with WOR founder tanya pearson playing all the instruments. there’s going to a nifty, limited-edition vinyl and all proceeds benefit the History Project. check it all out here.
- Signature Sounds, the label that released my debut album distillation, is celebrating their 25th year. as part of the festivities, i will be doing a livestream concert from the stage of the Parlor Room on Jan 21st. label founder and dear friend and mentor jim olson and i will chat about the early days of the label and then i’ll play a set. check out all the celebrations here.
- don’t forget i have an anti-holiday album, F*ck That! the world’s first anti-capitalist, pro-queer, suspicious of christmas-as-patriotism, sex-positive, not safe for work, multi-ethnic, radical leftist Anti-Holiday record. you can stream the record here or buy your own copy here.
well, that’s it for this month. a long newsletter to wrap up a very long year. i’m sending all my best wishes of love and grace to you and yours!
x erin
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