everybody needs a she-ro
on the inspiring joy of the #USWNT
PSST: DID YOU KNOW I RELEASED A BRAND NEW SONG IN JUNE?
SPOTIFY / APPLEMUSIC / ITUNES / BANDCAMP / AMAZON
thanks to everyone who listened and shared my new song "Is / He Does / He". if you missed it, everything you need to know is here. or maybe you were at fenway park on Pride Night when legendary redsox organist josh kantor performed it on the ballpark organ while james of "james" and i sang along from the outfield. EPIC.
stay tuned because there is plenty more new music coming your way. maybe even next week, cough cough, so please keep an eye out.
speaking of sports, i recently had the profound experience of seeing the US women’s national soccer team play in person. i have been a die-hard fan since the 2012 olympics, and i am so pleased it is now easier than ever to watch the team play on TV and dive into many deep and outstanding internet holes of #USWNT content. during the 2019 world cup i took so much inspiration from our lord and savior megan rapinoe that i bought a giant picture of her and put it up as the focal point in my living room. just like her, it dominates.
my USWNT fandom isn’t unusual. i am a huge lover of sports. i love to play them, i love to watch them, i love to talk about them. anytime, anywhere. hint hint, you will have a much more rewarding post-show conversation with me if you bring up sports. telling me how much you enjoyed the concert is wonderful and appreciated, but it also makes me clam up with shyness. bring up the latest in tennis, baseball, cricket, or really… whatever sports you are passionate about and we can really talk.
sports have everything i need - entertainment, politics, surprise endings, drama, passion. people’s love for them is often irrational and therefore fascinating. i have had conversations with people i would never have talked to were it not for sports. in the airport! at the game! in stressful situations like waiting in grocery lines in the pandemic! of course this is a cliche, but i feel like my own character was built and made better by my youthful (and adult) participation in sports. i strive to be a good teammate, and i have many many examples in my life of people i look up to who are my actual teammates. it’s a source of energy and inspiration that has nothing to do with how many people show up at a concert.
it was brought to my attention a few years ago, that for some people sports are a location of much pain and trauma. whether that was bullying, abuse, family disappointment, homophobia or even just disinterest in a sports-mad world. i am glad to be reminded of this. i acknowledge i have a pollyanna blindspot about sports that because of my positive experience playing and watching has allowed me to ignore some really awful shit that has happened in sporting circles. i am working on it.
so please allow me to step back and draw a bigger picture that hopefully folks who don’t like sports can relate to.
i’m preparing to put out an album. duh. i have told you this and have asked you to help me out. much of the anxiety in these preparations centers on having to look at my body, my literal body, in ways that make me uncomfortable. photo shoots, video shoots, making show posters, merchandise, and album art. you might think that just because i post selfies on social media or get up onstage that i dont have these anxieties. think again! sometimes i hate my body just as much as anyone else, especially if they have been socialized as female in our society. i made a song about this a few years ago, and it does help.
but, again, i am not impervious, and the combo of emerging from the pando and having to produce all this visual material in the last few months has left me feeling vulnerable and tender. so last week when i drove to hartford with friends to see the women’s soccer team play, i was just grateful for a fun outing, to see my favorite team, to take my mind off a looming video shoot a few days later.
the game was magnificent. i wrote about it here. the pouring rain and the tenacious, drenched crowd made it all the more fantastic. players and fans were united in our wet shoes and dripping hair. but beyond all that, i was truly, truly blown away by seeing the players up close. we were very fortunate to have seats in the first row behind the US bench.
these women were so strong and fit and vibrant and full and sure of themselves. and fast!! when christen press or crystal dunn really turned on the jets, they flew. their speed in person was astounding. megan rapinoe’s game vision was evident, her creative spirit shooting through her passes and crosses. these women were settled. they were confident. they were taking care of business. i was in awe.
cut to yesterday evening, when i finally reached my hotel after a 12+ hour day filming a music video with the genius oskar peacock. i had been very very anxious about this experience. the last video i made was almost 9 years ago. for me, videos are prohibitively expensive and all too rare. the pressure to look a certain way felt enormous.
and yet.
i went through the day settled and confident and creative. i took care of business. it wasnt until i was catching up on the team’s last game on insta, that i put the pieces together. the USWNT had shown me the way! seeing them succeed and thrive in person had totally rubbed off on me. during the shoot, whenever i snuck a peak at the playback, i didnt think one of the many terrible things i can think about myself. i thought, yes, that’s me looking good, let’s move on to the next shot, let’s take care of business.
maybe this break wont last. maybe seeing the USWNT and having my video shoot in close proximity were just a coincidence that sparked but will fade with time. or maybe i got a more permanent permission to give myself a break. to aspire to something i find in sports, but you can find elsewhere.
wherever you are, where can you really *see* women getting shit done? women thriving? what if you go look for it? what if you buy a ticket or read a new novel or go see a movie led or written by a woman? what if you appreciate the woman behind the counter wherever! women of any definition!! what can you be inspired to do? i know what i can do now, and i am thankful for the USWNT for showing me.
the next USWNT game is july 21st, in the first round of the olympics. *see* yall soon!
x erin
¡ME GUSTA! : SOME OF MY FAVORITE THINGS
redsox fan or not, you might enjoy dustin pedroia's fenway ceremony. his career was prematurely ended by a vicious baserunning play. his equanimity with that is astounding.
continuing on the seasonal baseball theme: crushed is a wonderful podcast about the steroid era's toll on fandom and american prodigy explores the disappearing legacy of ken griffey jr. you dont have to like sports to dig these. or at least i dont think so.
i stan carl nassib!!
the world's largest potato is now an Air BnB. what does this mean, existentially speaking of course.
i devoured the audiobook of annette gordon-reed's meditation on the meaning of juneteenth. and this meme made the rounds, for good reason.