hey yall! i’m writing this while on hold with the IRS. how great is that? the answer is… not great!
my accountants had a data breach, and someone filed a tax return as me, so i’ve got to untangle that, and it’s taking forever. letters letters letters and now a very long phone call with multiple holds. my IRS employee is very nice. mrs ingles she’s called, and she keeps checking on me, to make sure i’m still with her and staying patient. it’s kind of like if your grandmother popped into your mind every once in awhile and asked you for line 37 of your 2023 return, then placed you on hold again.
why anyone would want to impersonate me to the IRS is hilarious. and to be clear, i am sure it was a bot and many many other of my accountant’s clients were swept up in it. but i do like to think of that bot’s disappointment when they discover the paucity of my income and the amount of tax still owed.
update: mrs. ingles is no longer being very grandmotherly, unless your grandmother was combative and suddenly very very cranky. long, long story short, i have to refile my taxes. i’m sorry, bot! find a richer target next time!
there’s an old chestnut of a meme i shared recently. it shows a couple of well-dressed, hip men hi-fiving and bro-hugging, happy and successful. “people who are into art”, it’s labeled. then these guys walk away, revealing a stereotype of an un-housed person: unkempt, bottle in a paper bag, wrapped in a sleeping bag. “people who do art”, it says. and this gets me every time because it is so true. the trenches of making art are just that, trenches WWI-style. muddy, far from comfortable, interminable and dangerous. maybe the survival rate is the same. 1 in 4? we lose people all the time to more stable jobs, mental illness, and the physical toll of poverty. so many people enjoy art so blithely without realizing what it costs, financially and emotionally, to provide it.
so yeah, go ahead, take my tax return. sucker!!
today’s audio might sound a little familiar. it’s an excerpt from a song i wrote in 2023, appearing on episode 33, called “que sera sera seree” or at least that’s what its been called. the name could change if i ever officially release it. i wrote it for a game prompt and then have played it at a bunch of shows in the last year and a half. i love its energy and bite and slashing 80’s guitar lines.
what might sound unfamiliar, if you have listened closely, is that the song now has a new, longer, retooled second verse. last week, i added 8 lines and a whole new chord progression in the now second half of the second verse.
i recently moved, for the first time in 20 years, and it’s been very hard in the usual ways: expensive, destabilizing, a shit ton of work. by the time i reached the taping of the valedictory episode of cabin fever last week, i was toast. and i didn’t want to be in my old place, even for the final chance to sing my songs in the space i made them in.
i did it anyway. am i proud of that? i don’t know. the gen X part of me is proud for muscling through, for bucking up and showing up. the millenial part of me is horrified that i would ignore my upset and put my physical self back in a place that had become so toxic. i was born in 1977 and have never felt more like an xennial than in this confusion.
hey yall! october is my favorite month, both carl and i have our birthdays plus i love to see the plants and animals readying themselves for winter. to celebrate, i’ve got a slew of dates happening. lemme tell you about them!
on oct 19, i am so excited to return to the iconic mountain stage in morgantown WV. i’ll get to play with their house band and chat with the legendary kathy mattea. you can attend the taping, or look out for the livestream and podcast versions later this fall.
i’ll spend the rest of october out on the road with my favorite podcast Welcome To Nightvale. we’ll be hitting TX, OK, KS, MO, IN, OT, and MI. if you’d like to help me sell merch, you’ll get a pair of premium tickets to that night’s show, plus the chance to meet some incredible listeners. email erin@erinmckeown.com to join us.
i’m not doing the official announce yet, but there will be a some anti-holiday spectaculars this november and december. if you’re in new york, LA, the bay area, and olympia WA the shows are already on sale, and you’ll want to scoop up tix. stay tuned for more cities (hint hint portland, seattle, eugene, philly and more)
tickets and info for all of these shows can always be found at erinmckeown.com/shows
finally, in case you missed it, the last episode of my webseries “cabin fever” aired last weekend. if you missed it, you can watch the archive and explore previous episodes at erinmckeown.com/cabinfever.
as always, thanks for subscribing, for supporting my creative work with your subscriptions to the pod, and for telling friends about the Fax of Life!
i knew it would take a moment to settle into my new apartment, but i wanted to test the musical waters as soon as possible. could i make sound in this new space? was it possible to write when everything in eyesight was unfamiliar? would i feel capable of being creative when i am in closer proximity to neighbors than i have been in two decades?
so i sat down in my new space, picked a song out of the air, and started playing it. it felt good, really good. and then it didn’t. suddenly “que sera” seemed unfinished. in the context of the rawness and exhaustion after my move, the song felt a touch like a trifle, like i didn’t quite know what i was singing about.
when i first started writing songs, re-writing was nearly impossible. the songs would come out fully-baked and they’d be immediately set in stone. there is a blessing in this, especially when you’re a young writer and your inner editor does not yet exist. i actually think this is what people love about songs made by young people, and what i enjoyed about writing as a young person. these songs have a quality of immediacy and verve that mirrors a young self. as you get older, it’s harder to express without second guessing yourself. you’ve had too much experience, you know the potential of a vulnerable thought or song to fall to the floor with a thud, unnoticed. why not hedge a little?
there’s also the calcification that happens once a song gets recorded, or played live, alot. it may not actually be a finished composition, but you perform it as if it were. your initial impulses and excitement grow rigid with the repetition. effort and energy are at a premium as we age, and frankly it takes too much of both to reconsider something that seemed good enough. thank you, next.
but making musical theater has taught me to face this rigidity and desire for completion head-on. nothing can be finished when you’re making a musical. you re-write forever, or until the actors’ union makes you stop. while it can make the ground beneath you seem infirm, it also leaves open the delightful possibility of a composition making a left turn and surprising you with where it ends up.
so back to last week, on my couch in my new apartment. in a matter of 10 minutes, i had pried open “que sera” and added my new second verse. i decided to make it about the impotence, anger, and frustration i felt in the final week of interacting with my landlord. i’ll spare you the details, but let’s just say ending a 20 year tenant-landlord relationship is bound to get ugly. all the ways i soothed and coddled and went without in order to maintain peace, left me with a roaring, seething resentment. i am sure it was mutual.
the verse might not mean anything specific to the listener, and regardless, i think it makes good sense in the song, but for me, i have left an artifact for my future self. whenever i sing this song now or in the future, it will be enlivened by the feelings of september 2025.
haven shaken up my physical world so thoroughly - i packed a third of my belongings, sold a third of my possessions, and took only what i needed for the new place - i am in a mood where re-writing, reconsidering, and prying open finished goods, seems right and easy.
i’m ready to consider everything back in pencil and available to be fit to the current moment. on the other side for me, at least in my housing, has been a welcome simplicity and reaffirmation of my basic needs. there’s a lot more space in my life now, and i can’t wait until i can fill it with new music that excites me.
x erin
ps - check out these awesome folks who joined me and carl on the latest hiking concert
¡ME GUSTA! : SOME OF MY FAVORITE THINGS!
we love a carol burnett renaissance!!
fred armisen, whom i have always liked, has made an incredible sound effects album, part avant garde, part nostalgia trip
i love “the pitt”, and i love this pod about the thorny issues of its creation
while packing i did *alot* of audio books, including the original “frankenstein” (not what you’d think), here is a modern take on the story by a trans-man who sees himself in the “monster”
dont knock instant coffee. its my favorite coffee.
yall know i am a Football Person. but also being a Music Person, i found this article on carrie underwood’s lyrical variations for the “sunday night football” theme FASCINATING.
related: why so many football coaches use a southern accent
i am new to the world of jen hatmaker, but her appearance on the culture study pod was SPEAKING TO ME as a peri-crone
why we love (now captain!!) olivia benson. related, i cannot recommend mariska hargitay’s newest documentary more highly.
a short, beautiful doc on cleaning the 9/11 memorial
finally, i devoured netflix’s new House of Guinness. also also also the soundtrack is giving me life
UPCOMING SHOWS
2025
now - June 2026 - Fredericksburg VA
Fredericksburg Area Museum
Out And About: The Walk-in Closet
VISIT
October 19, 2025 - Morgantown WV
Mountain Stage
TICKETS
October 22, 2025 - Austin TX
As The Weather with Welcome To Night Vale
TICKETS
October 23, 2025 - Dallas TX
As The Weather with Welcome To Night Vale
TICKETS
October 24, 2025 - Oklahoma City OK
As The Weather with Welcome To Night Vale
TICKETS
October 25, 2025 - Lawrence KS
As The Weather with Welcome To Night Vale
TICKETS
October 27, 2025 - St Louis MA
As The Weather with Welcome To Night Vale
TICKETS
October 28, 2025 - Indianapolis
As The Weather with Welcome To Night Vale
TICKETS
October 30, 2025 - Toronto ON
As The Weather with Welcome To Night Vale
TICKETS
October 31, 2025 - Detroit MI
As The Weather with Welcome To Night Vale
TICKETS
November 21, 2025 - Northampton MA
the snapdragons will open
TICKETS
November 29, 2025 - New York NY
F*CK THAT! Anti-Holiday Spectacular
TICKETS
December 5, 2025 - Los Angeles CA
F*CK THAT! Anti-Holiday Spectacular
TICKETS
December 7, 2025 - Berkeley CA
F*CK THAT! Anti-Holiday Spectacular
TICKETS
December 10, 2025 - Olympia WA
F*CK THAT! Anti-Holiday Spectacular
TICKETS
MARK YOUR CALENDARS!!
DEC 11 - Eugene
DEC 12 - Seattle
DEC 13 - Portland
2026
April 10-May 10, 2026 - Chicago IL
World Premiere of OUT HERE @ Court Theatre
TICKETS & INFO
