today’s audio is the demo of my song “little miss mister” from my latest album KISS OFF KISS. i love this song, and i don’t think it gets its due. so! here you go.
in my formative years, i had the profound experience of being an artist in residence at AS220, a revolutionary community arts space in providence RI. AS220, was and still is, a gallery, performance venue, residence, cafe, and maker-space in the heart of one of america’s most unique and weird cities. spend some time with google and the career of former mayor and convicted fellon buddy cianci and you’ll see what i mean.
for three years, i lived in a stairwell that had been converted into an apartment. it was way more rad than that sounds. as part of the residency, we denizens of AS220 had to do some service around the building and occasionally that included working the door for the downstairs club. you have to be at a certain place in your life to enjoy living over a rock club. i was and i did. immensely. to be able to go down a flight of stairs and find myself in the middle of a crazy art circus was my idea of heaven at the time.
one of the regular events at the club was something called “the gold star invitational”. the premise was simple: do something you’ve never done before, on stage. kind of like an open mic, but for personal limits and fears. participants took the remit very seriously, and i witnessed folks do some really fun and poignant things. new poems were read. physical feats attempted. the evening was very popular.
i remember being both terrifically inspired and proximally terrified watching these shows. at the time, i was definitely performing and starting my public music career, but i was still scared of being onstage, and it was a heavy lift to make it to each gig. the moment i got onstage, things were fine, but the days and hours leading up to go time were often excruciating.
what i can’t remember is whether i ever actually signed up to do something at the gold star. i am actually quite relieved that my formerly hyper-vigiliant, steel trap of a mind is starting to slip. that shit was exhausting. i want to say that i did sign up once and my gold star skill was to wear a bikini, a prospect fraught with body shame and gender issues. i don’t think my memory can be proven or not, but let’s believe that one night in the late 90’s i took the stage wearing a bikini.
for what its worth, i wear bikinis all the time now. the gold star invitational, whether imagined or actual, gave me the courage to enjoy the practicality and ease of a simple swimsuit.
anyway! the “gold star invitational” has been on my mind this week because i just celebrated my 46th birthday, which was also carl’s 2nd birthday. on my 37th birthday, i did a radio spot with one of my favorite hosts, monte belmonte, in which i enumerated 37 things i hadn’t done, essentially proposing the setlist for a grand, life-size gold star invitational.
this year i thought it would be fun to make a new list of 46 things i haven’t done. some of these things are carried over from when i was 37, but as you can see in this post, i have managed to knock a few off that original list.
ok yall - so there are 3200 people that open this newsletter, which is approximately 62-64% of the total subscribers. of those 3200 people, less than 4% of you open my recommendation links section, ¡ME GUSTA!
last episode, i announced that because of low participation, i was retiring ¡ME GUSTA! friends, i heard from all 4% of yall that like, no - love, no - GUSTA the ¡ME GUSTA! section. ¡¡point taken!! ¡¡ME GUSTA LIVES!! if you have never experienced the weirdness and fun of this section, please scroll down and enjoy.
next, if you live in the American South, i’ll be on tour in november with my pals Welcome To Nightvale. show up, show out.
and if you live in the Pacific Northwest, a wonderful production of my musical Miss You Like Hell is running in Seattle until november 14. please support the theater that took a chance on our show. it’s not the christmas carol or west side story, so let them know you appreciate their programming choices.
and finally, as some of you know, i produce records as well as make them as an artist. this spring i am looking to take on a few production projects. so if you have a song or group of songs you’d like to realize into recordings, drop me a line. erinmckeown.com/producing has more information and a playlist of records i have made for other artists. let’s work together!
as always, thanks for listening! rate, review, subscribe on the platform of your choice, and please tell a friend!
before we get to the list of 46 things i haven’t done, i would be remiss if i didn’t touch on one weird tangent: “gold star lesbian” is an archaic and problematic phrase that refers to someone who has not had sex with a man. i just want to say i am so glad it’s been ages since i have heard this term used. it’s gender reductionist, implicitly privileges some intimacies over others, and frankly is almost never true in real life.
ok - on with the list:
in no particular order, here are 46 things have never done:
seen a david lynch film
ridden a camel
been to an NFL, NHL or NBA game
baked a cake
bought a house
had a kid, that i knew about
been abducted by aliens, that i knew about
discovered a planet
won a prize at a carnival game
gotten married
gotten fired from a job
ridden a unicycle
used a sewing machine
been in a corn maze
biked across america
milked a cow
eaten lucky charms
thrown the first pitch at fenway
driven a stick shift
changed a tire
gone windsurfing
worn contacts
watched an episode of “the sopranos”
eaten cotton candy
been to yankee candle
seen star wars
done drag
played with or in an orchestra
been to japan
pierced my tongue
written a novel
piloted a plane
drank absinthe
hiked mt kilimanjaro
directed a film
bought a lawn chair
seen a tornado
been to space
been on a horse
online dated
blown glass
seen the northern lights
solved more than 25 nytimes crossword puzzles in a row
gone to grad school
coached a sports team
had a slurpee
looking at this list, my mind immediately divides it into two parts: things i want to do but for some reason have not yet had the chance, or things i will never do and am proud to keep it that way.
for example, i am proud to have never had a slurpee (for more context listen to the “never have i ever (Nov 16, 2022)” episode of FOL), but i am embarrassed to not know how to drive a manual transmission car. i don’t want to get married or have kids, but i do want to go to japan.
but then i also think, gosh if there’s so many things i haven’t done, what have i been doing with my life?
well there is this: last week i learned to drive a tractor. to be clear, that was never a thing i did or did not want to do. and yet, i think i might have found my happy place.
i have a neighbor who takes care of a large amount of land near me. i use this land almost every day for walking carl, for hiking, for running, for swimming. my neighbor needed a little extra help with it this year, and i have an able body and some time to give. so i learned the tractor and mowed a field. it took a couple days, and on the second day i brought carl. as you can see in the video, he happily trotted alongside me as i drove the tractor back and forth.
at some point carl got either curious or tired and attempted to get on the tractor with me. i lifted him into my lap, which was hilarious and uncomfortable and impractical. he is after all 85lbs and when he stands on his hind legs, we see eye to eye. i expected him to jump off immediately because there was simply not enough lap to sit on. but he didn’t move. he settled in, hind legs dangling off one side of the tractor seat, front legs braced on the opposite fender, his giant head resting in the cradle of my right arm.
i started the tractor moving, expecting him to bolt with the noise, but he just calmly lay there. so there i was mowing the field, working the rows back and forth, in the encroaching twilight, desperately trying to hold carl on my lap and steer the tractor over muddy, bumpy ground. one bicep ached from propping his head up. the other was on fire trying to keep his butt from sliding all the way off my lap. but there he lay, content to be in his daddy’s arms watching the world go by slowly from the seat of a tractor.
it was something neither of us had ever done before, but i don’t think we could have been happier. gold star indeed!
so friends, i leave you with this: what’s a gold star for you? and can you try it this month, with or without an audience?? the invitation is open.
x erin
¡ME GUSTA! : SOME OF MY FAVORITE THINGS!
a wonderful long-form story about a murder on the jersey shore in the early 60’s
roxane gay was right when she called this article a LESBIAN CRISIS!!
it took 5 years of rehearsing to bring this play to the stage in marfa texas. talk about emphasizing process not results.
a fever-dream of an essay/masterpiece about seeing taylor swift live
omg, what if MLB actually had a female manager????
dogs & football (well, soccer) and accessibility and community
omg this goal that sydney leroux scored for LAFC
i have been open about how much i love the travis kelce + taylor swift narrative. among much fun, escapist media, i have found this perfect podcast. and SNL did a nice job with the story this weekend. and i also found this nearly perfect podcast, wherein two famous women NFL journalists let you listen to the conversations you had imagined/hoped they were having. i cannot get enough TRAYLOR.
UPCOMING SHOWS
Oct 14 - Nov 11 - Seattle WA
Miss You Like Hell at Strawberry Theatre
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Nov 9 - Washington DC
performing as The Weather with Welcome to Night Vale
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Nov 10 - Charlottesville VA
performing as The Weather with Welcome to Night Vale
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Nov 11 - Richmond VA
performing as The Weather with Welcome to Night Vale
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Nov 12 - Durham NC
performing as The Weather with Welcome to Night Vale
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Nov 16 - Tampa FL
performing as The Weather with Welcome to Night Vale
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Nov 17 - 19 - Tempe AZ
Miss You Like Hell at Arizona State University
MORE INFO
Nov 17 - Ft Lauderdale FL
performing as The Weather with Welcome to Night Vale
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Nov 18 - Ponte Vedra Beach FL
performing as The Weather with Welcome to Night Vale
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Nov 19 - Atlanta GA
performing as The Weather with Welcome to Night Vale
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March 8 -24, 2024 - Woodstock GA
Miss You Like Hell at Woodstock Arts
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If you have further questions or concerns about COVID protocols, please contact the venues directly.
Reminder, Erin does not appear in productions of Miss You Like Hell
gold star invitational